April Showers

I went to the Chiropractor and finally asked the question that has been on my mind for weeks: When will this start working and I stop hurting? His answer is it will just take time. TIME arghhh! I am tired of being patient. I am patient about weight loss. I am patiently working a job I don't love while patiently looking for a new one. I am patiently dealing with my back pain.

I was so upset when I left that instead of going into work early like I had planned I had to go to see my mom so she could calm me down. I am tearing up just writing about this. I am so mad at myself for allowing this to happen! If I could have fixed this weight problem years ago maybe whatever I did to my back would not have happened. I'm so mad that now that I have gotten my act together is when the pain comes not before. I don't tell anyone how bad it hurts because I am embarrassed and don't want to be seen as weak. It has hurt since Thanksgiving and I am only 25. Have I already ruined my life before it really got started? Sorry whiny. I'll get better and I'll keep working hard. Of the things I could be doing to help my back losing weight has got to help it right?

On another note eating has been great. I decided a few weeks back that I would stay on track throughout the weekends and I am only going off my normal eating if I eat out with someone. In that case, I still try and track what I am eating so I see the damage and encourage myself to make good choices. It does no good to eat 1300 cal each day sun-Thursday if I eat back the deficit over the weekend. I don't know what all of you do for planning meals but I am a planner. I grocery shop every Sunday and have a very specific list I make and stick to. I plan every meal and snack. I work late 2 days a week and eat lunch and dinner at work so I have to have 2 meals that can be made ahead of time or in the microwave those days plus my snacks. I pack it all before work to make it easy to make good choices for food at work-no vending machines for this girl!

Thanks for the encouragement on the Zumba class. It really was fun-much more enjoyable than the elliptical:) I'm afraid that it may have set me back on the back healing a bit but I can't just lay on the couch for 6 months but I may have to put of getting my Latin grove back for another week or so.