Reload

I have been doing so bad lately and it needs to stop! My lowest weigh in has been 179.8. This is the lowest weight I have ever seen on the scale as an adult. Of course I want to keep going but I feel that I am sabotaging my own efforts and using pain as an excuse. I have written before that I have had back pain since November well it is at a all time high. I have been seeing a chiropractor for almost 2 months now and although he says he sees progress, I have never been in more pain in my life. The little things that are just part of life-grocery shopping, cooking, walking my dog, standing and talking with someone at work hurt so bad that I can't even imagine working out right now. This is terrible for my physical and mental health. Without working out food is even more important to be on point and it is so not. I don't know what is up with my body but if I eat anything over 1300 cal I either gain or maintain.  Well a few days this week I was under cal goal but most days I was way over. I just let this self pity in to my brain, if I am the least bit hungry I let it take over my thinking and I make super bad choices. I don't have anything "bad" in my pantry so of course I do take out to eat bad which is so much worse than having a bit of ice cream or an extra bowl of cereal. Last night I had a huge plate of nachos that is now half eaten and left on my coffee table because as I was eating it my mind shifted and I was like why am I doing this and just left it where it was. Of course I woke up thinking that I would turn it all around today but before I even made my coffee I ate a french bread pizza(I ate the other one from the package last night). Thanks for listening. Writing this out makes it better in some way. I am going to go ahead and track the french bread pizza and move on with my day. I have worked hard this is no time to give up. My back will heal and I will get back into exercise soon, in the mean time over eating is not going to make it feel better if anything losing more weight will put less pressure on it, right?