Comming down from a super bad weekend of eating! No parties or real reasons just bad choices and let myself get too hungry with no plan.
So now all I wanna do is eat! I think its true that some carbs and sugars make you crave more of them.
I have my groceries bought and a plan for each meal and snack. Even am trying some almond milk and protein mix to add some protein fullness to my day. Was going to have a hard boiled egg too but forgot to boil them.
Working on filling my belly with water when all it wants is nachos!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Riding around town
Well this coming week my parents are moving out of the house they have lived in since I was in first grade. They are not moving far so I will still be able to pop over all the time and "borrow" pretty much anything I need. But it probably will change things. So I have felt some pull to stop by more often as their moving day approaches.
So yesterday, Sunday, I had most of the day to myself. I cleaned a bit and did my PT moves and walked my doggie. And watched way to many episodes of Friends(love DVR). Anyway I went out to eat like late lunch with a friend and then went over to my parents house to go bike riding. They store the bike for me as I have an upstairs apartment. My dad went along with me and it was so nice. Well like 80% of it was. 20% of the time we were on the side of a narrow road and cars were wizzing by me! Well we were talking and somehow I mentioned how I feel like I missed out on all this stuff growing up.
We lived at the same house, roads if anything were less busy, my brothers rode their bikes everywhere. So why did I not. Looking back I can think of only a few reasons.
It sucks to think of how much time I have wasted. There is nothing that I can do about that now all I can do is realize how fast it goes and make each day count.
In the last year I have done so much that I did not even know I was missing out on.
This is my life and I am going to LIVE it. I don't know what that will mean tomarrow but I'll find out. I need to fix this back issue first it def is stopping my from doing all the things that I have dreamed up. In the mean time there is alot that I can do tho. I can ride my bike, and swim, and read inspirational bloggs. I can continue to drop this weight not only will it likely help my back but it will make doing the things I'm dreaming of easier.
So yesterday, Sunday, I had most of the day to myself. I cleaned a bit and did my PT moves and walked my doggie. And watched way to many episodes of Friends(love DVR). Anyway I went out to eat like late lunch with a friend and then went over to my parents house to go bike riding. They store the bike for me as I have an upstairs apartment. My dad went along with me and it was so nice. Well like 80% of it was. 20% of the time we were on the side of a narrow road and cars were wizzing by me! Well we were talking and somehow I mentioned how I feel like I missed out on all this stuff growing up.
We lived at the same house, roads if anything were less busy, my brothers rode their bikes everywhere. So why did I not. Looking back I can think of only a few reasons.
- First I just was not a outdoors girl. I'm still not. I did not like the hot sun and I burn easy, hate bugs around me in the air, and just didn't find the out doors appealing.
- The second reason that I can think of is that I was very insecure with myself and always worried what others thaught of me. School was socially and emotionally hard for me. I did and still do have a fear of authority and getting in trouble. I always saw others as superior to me. I think that I probably stopped doing alot of physical things as I realized that I was big and that probably helped me get even bigger.
It sucks to think of how much time I have wasted. There is nothing that I can do about that now all I can do is realize how fast it goes and make each day count.
In the last year I have done so much that I did not even know I was missing out on.
- I have learned to rollerblade,
- I have ran on a tredmill,
- I have taken a water arobics class
- and tried Zumba!
This is my life and I am going to LIVE it. I don't know what that will mean tomarrow but I'll find out. I need to fix this back issue first it def is stopping my from doing all the things that I have dreamed up. In the mean time there is alot that I can do tho. I can ride my bike, and swim, and read inspirational bloggs. I can continue to drop this weight not only will it likely help my back but it will make doing the things I'm dreaming of easier.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Smoothie Adventures and PT
Well I have found that I love reading blogs and even commenting on them but writing my own posts well I know a little about alot but not really enough to blog about so I'll stick with what is going on currently and take it from there.
This week I decided to go ahead and try physical therapy. I'm not sure if it will help and it is super expensive but I have to do something. I dumped the chiropractor, really I was done with him when I went in to talk with him and he told me he thought I have been feeling better-obviously he wasn't hearing what I was saying and not asking enough questions to find out what was really going on. So PT! I had a consultation and was given some exercises to do. They told me that if it hurts don't do it(pretty much opposite of the chiropractor who told me to push thru the pain and suggested signing up for some 5Ks this summer-yeah right I can hardly walk my dog long enough for a poo and a pee). Went back for my first apt and felt that they really wanted to find out what was going on and they explained to me what we would be doing and why and kept asking and taking notes on what I was feeling. I go back again on Friday. I'm doing the stretches and stuff twice a day in the mean time. Also, I had just been using a heating pad but they said that ice might be good too so I did that last night it felt good in the moment. Too soon for improvement yet but they did say give it 3 weeks and if it is not 30% better-ish then it will be back to the doctor for a new path. Again, I like that they give themselves a goal time frame unlike the chiro that said well it can take time. Sorry to rant about the chiropractor I'm just ready to feel better and I am mad that I wasted months on the wrong path of treatment. He could have just said after a few weeks hey I've done all I can for you but no just kept stringing me along taking my money and time-Lame.
On to more fun things-I have been experimenting with smoothies! Most yummy is prob fresh berries with a little pom wonderful honey a banana and ice, Worst one-skim milk, banana, ice, PB, cocoa. I usually do not like to drink my calories but its summer and I felt the desire for a milkshake type thing even drink them with a fun bendy straw. Oh I have put kale in smoothies before and it you are going to drink them at home go for it but if you are taking it with you ( like to work) make sure you really blend that thing I had green pieces in my teeth at work that I was picking out for like an hour-sexy.
I have been doing real good with my new plan to not eat in the evenings. I just don't even let myself into the kitchen. It really has helped with the weight loss I think. So I'm really excited about where I am weight loss wise I am going to hit a mile stone soon 75lbs and I want to celebrate it in some way. I was thinking a spa day like a facial and massage would be great but I want to check with PT about the massage first. What have you done or plan to do when you hit a milestone? I got a new car when I reached to the 100s (but it was really like I needed a new car and the timing worked out). Still hate clothes shopping so a new outfit would be like a punishment. I would love to hear any ideas that you have. Hopefully 75 is very close.
This week I decided to go ahead and try physical therapy. I'm not sure if it will help and it is super expensive but I have to do something. I dumped the chiropractor, really I was done with him when I went in to talk with him and he told me he thought I have been feeling better-obviously he wasn't hearing what I was saying and not asking enough questions to find out what was really going on. So PT! I had a consultation and was given some exercises to do. They told me that if it hurts don't do it(pretty much opposite of the chiropractor who told me to push thru the pain and suggested signing up for some 5Ks this summer-yeah right I can hardly walk my dog long enough for a poo and a pee). Went back for my first apt and felt that they really wanted to find out what was going on and they explained to me what we would be doing and why and kept asking and taking notes on what I was feeling. I go back again on Friday. I'm doing the stretches and stuff twice a day in the mean time. Also, I had just been using a heating pad but they said that ice might be good too so I did that last night it felt good in the moment. Too soon for improvement yet but they did say give it 3 weeks and if it is not 30% better-ish then it will be back to the doctor for a new path. Again, I like that they give themselves a goal time frame unlike the chiro that said well it can take time. Sorry to rant about the chiropractor I'm just ready to feel better and I am mad that I wasted months on the wrong path of treatment. He could have just said after a few weeks hey I've done all I can for you but no just kept stringing me along taking my money and time-Lame.
On to more fun things-I have been experimenting with smoothies! Most yummy is prob fresh berries with a little pom wonderful honey a banana and ice, Worst one-skim milk, banana, ice, PB, cocoa. I usually do not like to drink my calories but its summer and I felt the desire for a milkshake type thing even drink them with a fun bendy straw. Oh I have put kale in smoothies before and it you are going to drink them at home go for it but if you are taking it with you ( like to work) make sure you really blend that thing I had green pieces in my teeth at work that I was picking out for like an hour-sexy.
I have been doing real good with my new plan to not eat in the evenings. I just don't even let myself into the kitchen. It really has helped with the weight loss I think. So I'm really excited about where I am weight loss wise I am going to hit a mile stone soon 75lbs and I want to celebrate it in some way. I was thinking a spa day like a facial and massage would be great but I want to check with PT about the massage first. What have you done or plan to do when you hit a milestone? I got a new car when I reached to the 100s (but it was really like I needed a new car and the timing worked out). Still hate clothes shopping so a new outfit would be like a punishment. I would love to hear any ideas that you have. Hopefully 75 is very close.
Monday, June 11, 2012
So far this week
I lost 5 lbs in 10 days! What I can't believe it either. So much so that I have not tracked it in any of my charts waiting for it go change back one morning in error. I even thought maybe the scale was low on batteries. Changed them same number. Moved the scale all over the bathroom(maybe it was not level?) nope same number. Down down down each day. What happened? Well only thing I did different was no eating past 7:30pm starting Thursday. Well I did have one smore-I'll tell you why in a min. Also I have not had any cheat meals in 2.5 weeks yeah that's got to be it I was undoing all the good work I had done each week by eating way to much on the weekends. I am so excited about this! Even tho I don't fully believe it happened. I can do this!! It can work out I can def lose more than 75lbs in a year I am at 70lbs lost now yay!! I weighed in at 174.8 today Wow I have never seen that number.
So why did I have a smore? Well they are delicious of course. But really it was to celebrate a last. My parents are moving at the end of the month from the house I grew up in. My little brother had a last bonfire at this house-it has a long yard and backs up to a soybean field where we would have parties all the time in the summer and fall. So I crashed his party and we took pictures and had a last smore. I did not have the hamburgers on the grill or the chips or pop and savored and tracked my smore(you can have 4 marshmellos for 100 cal not too bad). I will miss that place so much. We moved there when I was in first grade. It will be weird having my parents house not be my home. Its good for them they are empty nesters now and needed something different but still a little sad.
Anyway I'm going to keep up with the no eating past 7:30 thing and let you know how it goes. I got some info on my back today that does not seem good. I had an x-ray done and now they think I should get an MRI. I can't even imagine how expensive that will be. Well it will work out somehow I just wish I was more educated on what to do and didn't have to put so much trust into doctors that are strangers and have an interest in me getting more test/ things done-more test=more $ for them. Makes it hard for me to trust them.
Sorry post went from super happy to super lame it is what it is.
So why did I have a smore? Well they are delicious of course. But really it was to celebrate a last. My parents are moving at the end of the month from the house I grew up in. My little brother had a last bonfire at this house-it has a long yard and backs up to a soybean field where we would have parties all the time in the summer and fall. So I crashed his party and we took pictures and had a last smore. I did not have the hamburgers on the grill or the chips or pop and savored and tracked my smore(you can have 4 marshmellos for 100 cal not too bad). I will miss that place so much. We moved there when I was in first grade. It will be weird having my parents house not be my home. Its good for them they are empty nesters now and needed something different but still a little sad.
Anyway I'm going to keep up with the no eating past 7:30 thing and let you know how it goes. I got some info on my back today that does not seem good. I had an x-ray done and now they think I should get an MRI. I can't even imagine how expensive that will be. Well it will work out somehow I just wish I was more educated on what to do and didn't have to put so much trust into doctors that are strangers and have an interest in me getting more test/ things done-more test=more $ for them. Makes it hard for me to trust them.
Sorry post went from super happy to super lame it is what it is.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Just Some Plans for June and July
There are a few things I would like to do this summer and I think I will let you all know about them and keep up the the progress along the way. I will hit my one year mark on my fitness journey on August 5th so lets see how close to completeing these goals by then.
1. Lose at least 10 lbs-I originally thaught I could lose 100lbs in a year. with my back issues I will lower that to 75 lbs in a year. I still think that that is a great accomplishment. I am at 66 lbs lost so I must lose 9 to reach that. I know I can do it!
2. Find what is wrong with my back and fix the issue. I went on wednesday and got a set of x-rays taken I am waiting on a call from my doctor on the results. After that the next step is physical therapy I guess. Maybe that plus the pain fill and muscle spasm pills and seeing my chiropractor will have some effect on the pain other than making it worse.
3. Bike ride at least 10 miles at least 10 times. in the last 2 weeks I have been biking 5 times so I don't think this will be a problem but will be something fun to keep track of.
4. Plan or go on a trip even if it is only for a few days I must leave Ohio soon and I'm sure flying at 180 (or less) will be much better than at 240 or more.
5. Buy some chothes for goodness sake!! I am such a bad shopper. When it comes to little things I am a penny pincher. Weirdly when it comes to big things I jump right in-car, trips, computer don't bat an eye. 50$ jeans and I have buyers remorse for a week. So I have no clothes right not. I have exatly 6 work outfits one pair of jeans, one pair of long shorts, 2 cute not work tops, and 12 gigantic but used to be just right t-shirts(not including workout wear). I NEED some work friendly tops and a pair of tennis shoes and a sun dress with a sweater that goes with it and some nice but not for work shirts and a pair of dark jeans that FIT. Wow thats alot can't someone just nominate me for what not to wear so they will buy it for me. Of course at this point it would be a waste to be on the show as hopefully my body will be changing sooner or later. Never the less I still need stuff to wear now!!!
6. Get my doggie to the vet. I have had so many dr appts for me I have put off hers but she is due for her yearly checkup and vaccines.
7. Stick to no late night snacking for this summer- only exception is late dinners out with people or at parties. I am not giving up my social life to this just my habit of munching right before bed.
Well thats what I want for now. Once my back feels better I have soooooo many things to add to it but I have to understand that not all things are in my control and will work in my time line even if that is what I have been working for for almost a year. I can focus on the things I can change and enjoy!
1. Lose at least 10 lbs-I originally thaught I could lose 100lbs in a year. with my back issues I will lower that to 75 lbs in a year. I still think that that is a great accomplishment. I am at 66 lbs lost so I must lose 9 to reach that. I know I can do it!
2. Find what is wrong with my back and fix the issue. I went on wednesday and got a set of x-rays taken I am waiting on a call from my doctor on the results. After that the next step is physical therapy I guess. Maybe that plus the pain fill and muscle spasm pills and seeing my chiropractor will have some effect on the pain other than making it worse.
3. Bike ride at least 10 miles at least 10 times. in the last 2 weeks I have been biking 5 times so I don't think this will be a problem but will be something fun to keep track of.
4. Plan or go on a trip even if it is only for a few days I must leave Ohio soon and I'm sure flying at 180 (or less) will be much better than at 240 or more.
5. Buy some chothes for goodness sake!! I am such a bad shopper. When it comes to little things I am a penny pincher. Weirdly when it comes to big things I jump right in-car, trips, computer don't bat an eye. 50$ jeans and I have buyers remorse for a week. So I have no clothes right not. I have exatly 6 work outfits one pair of jeans, one pair of long shorts, 2 cute not work tops, and 12 gigantic but used to be just right t-shirts(not including workout wear). I NEED some work friendly tops and a pair of tennis shoes and a sun dress with a sweater that goes with it and some nice but not for work shirts and a pair of dark jeans that FIT. Wow thats alot can't someone just nominate me for what not to wear so they will buy it for me. Of course at this point it would be a waste to be on the show as hopefully my body will be changing sooner or later. Never the less I still need stuff to wear now!!!
6. Get my doggie to the vet. I have had so many dr appts for me I have put off hers but she is due for her yearly checkup and vaccines.
7. Stick to no late night snacking for this summer- only exception is late dinners out with people or at parties. I am not giving up my social life to this just my habit of munching right before bed.
Well thats what I want for now. Once my back feels better I have soooooo many things to add to it but I have to understand that not all things are in my control and will work in my time line even if that is what I have been working for for almost a year. I can focus on the things I can change and enjoy!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Reload
I have been doing so bad lately and it needs to stop! My lowest weigh in has been 179.8. This is the lowest weight I have ever seen on the scale as an adult. Of course I want to keep going but I feel that I am sabotaging my own efforts and using pain as an excuse. I have written before that I have had back pain since November well it is at a all time high. I have been seeing a chiropractor for almost 2 months now and although he says he sees progress, I have never been in more pain in my life. The little things that are just part of life-grocery shopping, cooking, walking my dog, standing and talking with someone at work hurt so bad that I can't even imagine working out right now. This is terrible for my physical and mental health. Without working out food is even more important to be on point and it is so not. I don't know what is up with my body but if I eat anything over 1300 cal I either gain or maintain. Well a few days this week I was under cal goal but most days I was way over. I just let this self pity in to my brain, if I am the least bit hungry I let it take over my thinking and I make super bad choices. I don't have anything "bad" in my pantry so of course I do take out to eat bad which is so much worse than having a bit of ice cream or an extra bowl of cereal. Last night I had a huge plate of nachos that is now half eaten and left on my coffee table because as I was eating it my mind shifted and I was like why am I doing this and just left it where it was. Of course I woke up thinking that I would turn it all around today but before I even made my coffee I ate a french bread pizza(I ate the other one from the package last night). Thanks for listening. Writing this out makes it better in some way. I am going to go ahead and track the french bread pizza and move on with my day. I have worked hard this is no time to give up. My back will heal and I will get back into exercise soon, in the mean time over eating is not going to make it feel better if anything losing more weight will put less pressure on it, right?
Thursday, May 17, 2012
What would you say?
Do people ask you for advice? I have been asked twice in the last week by overweight people what I have been doing and how I got started. I have no idea what to tell them. It feels hypocritical to give advice. At about 180 I am still big. I want to direct them to whomever else is around that is small and obviously does the right things to never put themselves in the position to need to lose weight.
Also, I know that I am not doing everything perfectly. If I was I would be losing weight faster than I am and I would be stronger than I am now. How can I give advice if I am just making it up as I go? So what should I say?
What I did say is that writing down everything I eat works for me as well as exercising in any way you can. I feel like this is lame tho, who wouldn't know that? Its so basic. What I think they are asking (well really what I would be asking if I was to be brave enough to approach someone for advice) is what keeps you going? How do you continue to make good decisions at 8pm on a Tuesday? How do you lose .5lbs or even gain .5 lbs after a whole week of work and keep on keeping on? What makes your planning future looking self able to wrangle the greedy in the moment self?
Do you know? I don't. The best I can come up with is that it is a muscle that you have to build on as you would any other. As you use it it becomes stronger. Also, don't let yourself get too hungry with out a game plan that is when large pizzas are ordered:) Also when I am having a bad day I drive in my car a bit and sing really loudly with Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" so corny but it speaks to me.
Also, I know that I am not doing everything perfectly. If I was I would be losing weight faster than I am and I would be stronger than I am now. How can I give advice if I am just making it up as I go? So what should I say?
What I did say is that writing down everything I eat works for me as well as exercising in any way you can. I feel like this is lame tho, who wouldn't know that? Its so basic. What I think they are asking (well really what I would be asking if I was to be brave enough to approach someone for advice) is what keeps you going? How do you continue to make good decisions at 8pm on a Tuesday? How do you lose .5lbs or even gain .5 lbs after a whole week of work and keep on keeping on? What makes your planning future looking self able to wrangle the greedy in the moment self?
Do you know? I don't. The best I can come up with is that it is a muscle that you have to build on as you would any other. As you use it it becomes stronger. Also, don't let yourself get too hungry with out a game plan that is when large pizzas are ordered:) Also when I am having a bad day I drive in my car a bit and sing really loudly with Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" so corny but it speaks to me.
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